Revulsion
by TwilightyellowipodCullen
Summary: Two months since Edward left and Bella needs a way out...WARNING: suicide.


**AN: Hey. This is my first Twilight fic. I didn't mean for my first fic to be all depressing, but when is life ever like how you want it to be...?**

**BPOV:**

I stared into the mirror, at the face that what so different, so changed. It has been 2 months since _he _left me. My cheek bones jut out and my skin is waxy. My hair is ratty and my eyes are dull and sunken.

I've become a stranger. I turn away, disgusted by what I see. But of course I'm still clumsy. I trip and fall, knocking some my wash bag onto the floor. I sigh and start picking up the items that have fallen out when something sharp cuts into my finger.

I gasp in pain and look down to see my razor lying blade up on the floor. There is a single drop of blood on my finger. I smile grimly. Isn't this what caused E.... I stop myself just in time. If I had thought _his _name...I shudder at the thought.

But I realise that the blood should have made me at least queasy by now. Instead I see the bright blood as a thing of beauty. I pick up the razor – intrigued. I press it down into the skin on my arm and drag it along.

The cool metal cuts into my skin. I gasp in pain but I _like _it. I've spent two months completely numb and this new sensation is amazing. The blood drips onto the floor. I think about the last two months, two deadly months.

I have pushed my friends away, I pushed Renee away and I pushed Charlie away. Oh poor Charlie. I saw the despair in his eyes at my catatonic state turn into revulsion. He'd be so relieved to not have to see me anymore and I had no friends anymore, no one would care if I just...died.

I look down at the bloody razor in my hand. I'll do it. I'll kill myself. Save everyone the trouble of putting up with me. I realise that I'll have to do it quickly – or A...or _she'll_ see it. It even hurt to think of _his _family.

I sit down on my bed. Pressing the razor firmly down on my wrist I cut. I cut again and again. On both wrists. The pain is blinding but somehow comforting. I curl into a ball and whimper. The blood is flowing thick and fast now. Tears fall down my cheeks.

I think of Edward, Alice, and Emmett, of all the Cullen's. It hurts but I will it. I want to die thinking about the people I love most in the world, even if they don't love me. How I wish Edward was here, to hold me one last time.

**APOV:**

The whole family is together for once. Even Edward although he just sits there, a shell. Suddenly a vision appears:

_Bella sitting on her bed, a razor to her wrist. There is no other path – she has decided no backing down._

I jump up at the same time as Edward. We run out the house leaving the others clueless. "Thank God we're in the same country at least" I think. We may have a shot at saving her. We run and run and run. Finally we get to Bella's house. I can smell the blood. I look at Edward – horror-struck. We jump up to Bella's window and in there is the most horrifying sight I have ever seen. Bella was curled up in a ball tears running down her cheeks and blood flowing from her wrists. Edward is at her side in a second and holds her.

"Bella! Bella, Bella! Answer me!" Edward shouts.

Bella's eyes open slowly and she smiles. "I knew you'd come back." She says drowsily.

"Bella! Bella I'm sorry! Bella don't leave me, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I love you Bella, stay with me!" Edward screams, desperation and despair written on his face.

**BPOV:**

I heard a noise at my window but didn't have the strength to open my eyes to find out what it was. Then I heard the most beautiful and the most heart breaking sound in the world.

"Bella! Bella, Bella! Answer me!" Edward shouts. How I've missed his voice. I breathe in deeply, his scent surrounding me. I open my eyes and see his beautiful face. I smile. I see Alice standing in the room as well.

"Bella! Bella I'm sorry! Bella don't leave me, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I love you Bella, stay with me!" Edward screams.

But I know it's too late, my vision is going blurry and the blackness is coming.

"I love you Edward" I whisper with the last of my strength, then everything goes black...

**AN: So, what did you think? Kinda depressing I know, but still...Love it? Hate it? Review to let me know, even if it's to flame, just so I know.**

**Lyn-Z**


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